Bangkok Days and Nights

Terminal 21; The Pause that Refreshes

2012-01-14T01:32:00.000-08:00

What can I say, Bangkok Buddy was right (again).

I dillied and dallied as long as I could but I finally sat down on a variation of this seat in one of the the rest rooms of Terminal 21 today. Functions include: hot and cold rising water; adjustable spray angle; adjustable seat temperature; and (get this) drying.

It was like a Clapton concert, I think I saw god. So good in fact that after my meal there, I again assumed the position. I'd still be there but they started flicking the lights that it was last call.

Thing is, neither time did I (really) have to go. You see with these seats, it doesn't (really) matter.

Brought to you by Toshiba. Tip of the hat Nippon way on that one.

Fact Finding

2011-12-22T23:08:00.001-08:00

Just back from taking the BTS and #29 air con. bus to Muang Ake, Rangsit to look at my favorite golf course. Looking at nearby water level marks, I would say it had been covered with about 7 1/2 feet of water. The grass is brown but I saw signs of life (someone watering the green on the 13th). While there I had red pork noodles at that incredible food center on the way in. Tuckered me out, though, time for a nap. Five'll get you five I dream of golf.

Surrender Was Not An Option

2011-12-20T17:38:00.000-08:00

Winston Churchill, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom for most of World War II, made a lot of good speeches. In one of the darkest hours of the war for Britain, he said:

We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and the oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

As I soldiered through the hardships of the recent Thai floods, I kept Winnie's words in mind. Blessedly, some of my pain was eased yesterday as I witnessed the return of Coke Zero to the Kingdom. Pure joy. When the tears cleared and my vision returned, I bought up as many cans as I could carry.

We have come through this together. We are stronger and share a bond for having done so.

--Jack Dawson, 2011

The Year I Didn't Become A Man

2011-12-16T17:59:00.000-08:00

One of many actually.

(Some of the top Billboard hits from the top 50 of) 1974:

02. Seasons In The Sun » Terry Jacks
13. Midnight At The Oasis » Maria Muldaur
16. Spiders And Snakes » Jim Stafford
20. Hooked On A Feeling » Blue Swede
21. Billy Don't Be A Hero » Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods
27. Sundown » Gordon Lightfoot
29. Rock Me Gently » Andy Kim
40. The Joker » Steve Miller Band
43. Rock The Boat » Hues Corporation
45. Living For The City » Stevie Wonder
46. The Night Chicago Died » Paper Lace
49. Waterloo » Abba
50. The Air That I Breathe » Hollies

Just saying, that's some pretty good sh*t there that got me through the year Nixon went down.

Tomorrow, the bottom 50.

I Don't Care What They Say

2011-12-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

I love this shot of four carriers rusting away in Bremerton, Washington (not that it denotes anything about the USA or anything).

Close to the Edge

2011-12-07T02:20:00.000-08:00

In addition to being a great, classic album by "Yes," "close to the edge" describes just how near you can be in Thailand to a tremendous beat down.

Take this story today from the Pattaya Daily News (who, or is it whom, I thank):

http://www.pattayadailynews.com/en/2011/12/07/pattaya-karaoke-girl-groped-by-khmer-workers/

What happened was two Thai guys jumped in against eight or ten or twelve Cambodian construction workers at a Pattaya karaoke club (never a good place to be) to defend the honor of a Thai maiden whose boob had been manhandled.

This was the result:

And in today's other finals, it was Cambodia 1 and Thailand coming to bat.

Not Your Dad's UCLA

2011-12-06T13:55:00.001-08:00

Dude on the left (the one w/out tats), Bill Walton, basically didn't lose a basketball game for five years (!) and led UCLA to three national championships. He finished with the Celtics and was a Dead Head. What more could you ask for in a man?

Second dude, Reeves Nelson, straight out of Modesto, was just suspended for the second time (!) this season for conduct unbecoming. Wouldn't be so bad except he was the Bruin's leading scorer and rebounder.

Truly, when DID the wheels go flying off (I know when, I'm just not saying)?

thx LA Times

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2011/12/reeves-nelson-suspended-ucla-basketball.html

Free Drop?

2011-12-03T18:23:00.000-08:00

Some guys are in town from California. This is the road we use to get to one of our favorite golf courses. When I say "favorite," I mean it in the sense that we typically walk off the 18th heads held low muttering profanely about how much we hate it. But hope springs eternal. That's the thing with golfers. Anyway, looks like we'll have to bring a few extra balls.

We'll Keep the Light Turned On (or maybe not)

2011-12-02T22:21:00.000-08:00

The markets are tricky. I thought I was having a bad run here, down 5% or so.

Then I read about this closed Vegas hotel, the Atrium. Lehman Brothers (remember them?) financed a $55 million purchase of the place in 2008.

It sold recently for $4.2 million, for a nice -92% return.

Now I don't feel so bad.

Thanks Vegasinc:

http://www.vegasinc.com/news/2011/dec/02/closed-atrium-suites-hotel-may-be-sold/

Go Aussie Dollar Go

2011-02-18T00:02:00.000-08:00

Nah, I Don't Have to Embrace Change

2011-02-03T23:15:00.000-08:00

According to Billboard, the number two song in the States is the unforgettable "F**kin' Perfect" by P!nk. Coming in at number 19 is the catchy "F**k You (Forget You)" by Cee Lo Green.

Forty years ago today when I was just coming into my prime (well, actually 22 years away from the beginning of my prime), "Knock Three Times" by Tony Orlando and Dawn was ruling the Billboard roost.

I have no idea what this means but none of it is good.

and it cleared

2011-01-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

According to TMZ, the check Charlie Sheen gave to an adult actress as a show of good faith in his quest to create a "porn family." And for this he needs rehab?

We're in for a blow

2011-01-26T22:37:00.001-08:00

As the old country, New England, get hammered again.

12 Months Without a May

2011-01-26T04:03:00.000-08:00

...(speaking of Lewis Carroll) Cheshire Cat or what?

Sorry...

2011-01-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

...did you say something?

(Last Exit to) Wonderland

2011-01-23T06:52:00.000-08:00

I mean, look at that rabbit, it's size, it's slick smile and garb. For a minute there, I thought I was having an acid flashback.

Really, could u make this shit up?

All eyes in Asia turn towards that big country to the north, the one of 1.1 billion people/shoppers or so, as it's Feb. 3 New Year's date nears.

Not Your Dad's Hawthorne (or the Beach Boy's)

2011-01-21T22:30:00.000-08:00

To summarize, dude crosses Crenshaw Blvd. in Hawthorne at night with no cross walk. Gets hit once. Gets run over by a second driver. Neither stop. Woman goes into the street to help the dude. He's croaked. Women gets hit. Dude who hit her stops and gets out. Mob beats the shit out of him and steals his cell phone. Dude splits for his life but returns once the cops come to ID one of his attackers. That dude's arrested. Cops also nab the second hit and run driver but not the first. Got all that? Good. It'll be on the test.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-01-22-mob-beating-20110122,0,4824229.story

Thai Tourist Attractions

2011-01-14T03:50:00.000-08:00

I had the most pleasant day and if the stars line up this eve the pleasantest part may yet lay ahead of me.

The weather is absolutely beautiful and I took advantage of it by making it down to the river for lunch at those picnic tables at Thammasat Tha Tien. Took the 14 baht river taxi to the BTS from Tha Chang and got this great shot of Wat Arun (is it just me or is Wat Arun slightly, check, majorly, phallic?)

Speaking of which, at the Siam station, well, per usual, I was graced by some of Thailand's finest. What a great country. Pssst; don't tell anyone.

How much farther can I run (away)?

2011-01-12T23:18:00.001-08:00

Can Oprah be far behind?

I mean, I have needs too.

Say it ain't so Joe.

"And I Repeat...!"

2011-01-12T00:50:00.000-08:00

As if to validate the sneaky feeling I have that it best I never play house with a Thai woman, I start my walk home down the soi this afternoon and this sweety in the pick up bed is absolutely f*cking screaming into her mike about what I didn't know. I assumed it was a red shirt thing although (suspiciously) NO red was to be seen.

A few hundred feet south the cause of the commotion was explained to me; whoever they were (they still looked red although in this case yellow would make more sense) had stopped to demonstrate at the Red Cross office across from soi 6. They want the Red Cross to get involved on behalf of the seven Thais who recently crossed into Cambodian territory without permission and are now locked up in Phnom Penh. Two of the seven have been charged with spying.

Definitely not my fight but boy did they fuck up traffic. As always, I was glad I was using my feet for locomotion in Bangkok and not something powered by an internal combustion engine. You never know here when someone is gonna' amplify their voice to an unimaginable level, start playing distorted Issan fight songs, block traffic and put a crimp in your whole day.

#7 w/ a bullet

2011-01-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

Concentration

2011-01-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

...and I'm paying that caddy?

ps thx Golden Bear

A new reality TV show?

2011-01-06T17:40:00.000-08:00

"When Attorneys Go Berserk"

...and i quote from the SF Chronicle...

Ex-L.A. prosecutor allegedly runs amok at SFO

A former Los Angeles deputy city attorney has been charged with assaulting police with a pole after creating a scene at San Francisco International Airport in which she vandalized a coffee kiosk, authorities say.

Angela West, 50, a Harvard Law School graduate, was seen by airport police officers smashing merchandise, milk containers and other food items with a 3-foot-long metal pole at a Peet's Coffee kiosk at SFO on Christmas Eve, said San Mateo County District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe.

When officers tried to speak to her, West "raged" at them and began swinging the pole, which she had taken from a janitor's cart, Wagstaffe said.

An officer had to use a chair to fend off at least 10 blows, authorities said. West then calmed down and sat in a booth, only to start throwing items at the officers, Wagstaffe said.

When the officers tried to arrest her, she kicked one of them in the groin, Wagstaffe said. After being subdued, West shouted out that she was a lesbian and that the officers "should stop trying to have sex with her," the prosecutor said.

West was taken to a hospital and held in a psychiatric ward for a week, Wagstaffe said.

At a court hearing Tuesday, Judge Barbara Mallach allowed West to represent herself after learning that she had attended Harvard Law and was admitted to the California State Bar in 1989. West, however, has been inactive since 1997.

West pleaded not guilty at Tuesday's hearing, at which she also demanded a copy of the police report. Prosecutors asked for more time to prepare a redacted copy by removing witnesses' addresses, but West objected, saying she was a former prosecutor and was "entitled to the information," Wagstaffe said. (In Los Angeles, deputy city attorneys handle misdemeanor criminal cases, among other matters).

West received the redacted report at a hearing Wednesday. She is being held in custody in lieu of $10,000 bail, after she argued successfully to have it reduced from $25,000.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/crime/detail?entry_id=80400&tsp=1

I especially like the part where she states (for the record) that she's a lesbian. I think, if marketed correctly, this could make the pilot widely watched.

I assume Ms. West will sue everyone who was within, say, a mile of her and walk away w/ a big settlement. Course, that was probably the plan all along. Those Harvard lesbians are sharp that way.

The High Cost of Low Living

2011-01-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

Man,take a two month break from the Arches and the boys in Oakbrook raise the prices (again). I wanna' say the filet was 49 baht when I first moved over. In it's defense, it tasted f*cking great (even without the sauce).

Comings and Goings

2011-01-02T03:56:00.000-08:00

F*ck, I hate to see this store closed. While they had perfected service w/ a snarl, they also sold beer 24/7 irregardless of race, color, creed or whether it was past mignight or a dry day.

Why do the good things never last?

Stick says a new bar beer is coming in it's sted. That's good because we sure don't have enough of those.

If true, gonna' be one of the narrowest watering holes ever, right up there with seat 36A, exit row, right aisle, China Air #5, LAX--Taipei.

We'd like to introduce our new coach

2010-12-31T22:44:00.000-08:00

oh wait, we can't, he's locked up.

(update; and now he's fired)

(courtesy; SF Chronicle)

New Pitt coach jailed on domestic violence charge

New Pittsburgh coach Mike Haywood was jailed Friday on a domestic violence charge after an incident at his South Bend home.

Assistant St. Joseph County Police Chief Bill Redman said Haywood was arrested about 3 p.m. Friday after a custody issue developed with a woman with whom Haywood has a child. The unidentified woman told police that Haywood grabbed her by the arm and neck and pushed her as she tried to leave.

Redman said the woman had marks on her neck, arms and back.

"The University of Pittsburgh is aware of an alleged incident involving head football coach Michael Haywood today in South Bend, Indiana," the school said in an e-mailed statement. "The University expects the highest standards of conduct from its employees, including its coaches, and any breach of those standards is a very serious matter. The University will decline further comment until more complete information is available."

Haywood will be held without bond in the St. Joseph County jail until he goes before a judge. Redman said that might occur over the weekend, but no later than Monday.

Pittsburgh hired Haywood on Dec. 16 to replace Dave Wannstedt, who resigned under pressure. Haywood led Miami (Ohio) to a 9-4 record this season and the Mid-American Conference championship.

The 46-year-old Haywood also has been an assistant coach at Army, Ohio University, Ball State, LSU, Texas and alma mater Notre Dame.

Meanwhile back in Bristol...

2010-12-28T17:11:00.001-08:00

Rt. 6, Terryville Ave., Bristol's main drag, as it descends into town. If I'm not wrong, that's St. Joe's cemetery to the left (north) where Pete, my younger brother, god rest his soul, lies.

Free Enterprise

2010-12-26T16:55:00.000-08:00

If you look closely, you may see that these ladies in front of Siam Square have repackaged and are reselling Krispy Kreme donuts bought across the street by the dozen at Paragon.

I had thought about asking them "what flavor" but by the time I got in front of them I had changed my opening gambit to, "Will you marry me?"

Christmas (Not) in Connecticut

2010-12-25T05:42:00.001-08:00

Who needs all that cold, New England weather when the family right next to me was gentile enough to put up the twinkling lights signaling sanook inside.

A very merry to you (Mrs. Calabash) wherever you are.

What Us Worry?

2010-12-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

Now if I could only remember those first 17 things...

now that musta' hurt

2010-12-20T07:36:00.000-08:00

Man dies after his ex-wife bites off his penis and then fatally stabs him

Isn't the stabbing part just overkill?

http://www.pattayaone.net/pattaya-news/33059/man-dies-after-his-ex-wife-bites-off-his-penis-and-then-fatally-stabs-him/

So that explains it

2010-12-16T23:52:00.000-08:00

Social Anxiety Disorder

Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others.

A person with social anxiety disorder is afraid that he or she will make mistakes and be embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. The fear may be made worse by a lack of social skills or experience in social situations. The anxiety can build into a panic attack. As a result of the fear, the person endures certain social situations in extreme distress or may avoid them altogether. In addition, people with social anxiety disorder often suffer "anticipatory" anxiety -- the fear of a situation before it even happens -- for days or weeks before the event. In many cases, the person is aware that the fear is unreasonable, yet is unable to overcome it.

People with social anxiety disorder suffer from distorted thinking, including false beliefs about social situations and the negative opinions of others. Without treatment, social anxiety disorder can negatively interfere with the person's normal daily routine, including school, work, social activities, and relationships.

Now where do I apply for SSDI?

i was just thinking...

2010-12-16T02:14:00.001-08:00

fried clams, fries AND rings (w/ extra tartar of course) on the Cape (Jack Kennedy's Cape)

Speaking of Mac Davis

2010-12-15T22:18:00.000-08:00

Downloaded and watched "North Dallas Forty," after "Caddyshack," probably the best sports movie ever (w/ "Hoosiers" coming in third). Can't get much better than that.

The Best Laid Shopping Plans (so to speak)

2010-12-13T15:49:00.000-08:00

Seen here at the 2010 AUA holiday party, Ja was kind enough to get back to me via facebook and let me know she got her dress at City Complex Pratunam. I think one would look just darling in my collection. (If I can find it) Man I hope they have it in black.

I think I already have the shoes.

You are looking at a man on a mission, as long as that mission doesn't start too soon, tomorrow'll do.

The King (can I say that?)

2010-12-12T00:11:00.000-08:00

som tom boo blara to the first one who names the writer of this song

What's the Line?

2010-12-09T15:36:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna' go with Arsenal and give the points but I just can't decide whether or not to take the over in the Chelsea game.

Electioneering

2010-12-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

This place has more votes than a south Chicago ward meeting. Maybe there's money in it.

(A slice, and sometimes a hook, of) Heaven

2010-12-07T16:32:00.000-08:00

Two gentlemen, Intel and Chicago Transit Authority, and then I saddled up the Toyota and ventured out 125 klicks or so west of Bangkok to get in 18 yesterday.

Thanks again, Intel, for driving.

Every time I go out to one of these beautiful places well outside of the capital, I think about hanging up the urban spurs for a spell, saddling up Blackie and moseying on out to stop and smell the sugarcane and (once and for all) perfect my short game.

(If not Jerusalem maybe) Next year in Ratchaburi.

Up ahead in the distance I saw a shimmering light...

2010-12-06T15:53:00.000-08:00

There I was minding my own business changing trains at the Siam station when I thought I heard a distorted loudspeaker blaring. I looked out across the horizon that is Paragon/Siam Center.

If you look closely you will see 42 uni girls (Harvey counted them) in full uni dress vying to be Miss Cannon U-League 2010. God love the Japanese.

For a brief moment I thought about blowing the 20 baht extra it would have cost me in BTS fare to exit and reenter the station to get a closer look. Cooler minds prevailed. See what happens when you live in Bangkok too long? You start thinking saving 70 cents is more important than getting closer to two score of hard working college students trying to further their education.

What's it all about Alfie?

2010-12-05T16:49:00.000-08:00

Last night, I ran into two fellow soi dudes who both just got back from long spells in the the States. (Despite them both living in Texas) They're both great Americans, successful and smart as whips.

We caught up and I asked them about the homeland. I do that with people who have just returned because for some reason in the back of my mind I always think about going back for a while. I think it's an ex-pat condition.

They both told me to forget about it. America is unbelievably expensive and, worse, not fun. I mean, what do you get for your money?

I took it in and thought about the unbelievably delicious dinner I had had for 126 baht and the nightime serenade of light traffic heading up Asoke from Sukhumvit on Father's Day here in the Kingdom. (Actually, re: Asoke, I was unhealthily dwelling on how that missing person from Ratchaburi and I used to head up that way to Hway Kwang market.)

Who was it that said, "Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing"?

Gnarly, Like Totally Dude

2010-12-05T02:40:00.000-08:00

Buddha and Newguy 6 are in town. Newguy 6 is one of the sharpest guys I know, like a tack. Commenting on the new homeless dude who has taken the EXACT same spot where the Sleeper used to ice down his feet, Newguy 6 said, "Nature abhors a vacuum."

I mean, you couldn't make this shit up.

Anyway, I call the "new" homeless dude "the Sprawler" for the way his long legs hang into the sidewalk from the front of the Family Mart. I am amazed the Thais let him live there but then again I am amazed by a lot of the things I see on my soi.

I have come to the conclusion that he is doing a kind of "Leaving Bangkok" thing in that he doesn't really eat, has lost 10 or maybe 15 just since he assumed his perch and is becoming like Biafra thin. What Nick Cage did with too much alcohol, the Sprawler is doing with no calorie intake.

Dude don't bathe either, as in never. Guess if starvation don't get him, the bugs might.

Weirdly, late at night he can be seen shuffling through the Plaza itself, holding his paints up with his left hand and his plastic bags of ??? with his right.

More as this story develops.

Let There Be a Short Game

2010-12-04T01:56:00.000-08:00

I get so many requests from listeners, I try to get to them as soon as I can.

One asked where the November 2010 numbers were. Well, Irv was a little slow with the monthlies this month but here they are:

*all amounts are Thai baht

54,370; Total Outgo:
17,410 rent (all in)
12,500 "entertainment" (9)
5,482 golf (4)
14,778 everything else
4,200 extraordinary items (two new beautiful Cleveland wedges, a 52 and a 56)

I'd like to conclude by thanking the members of the Academy and observing that November 2010 was 87% great, one of the best months I've had in my almost six years here. If you factor out the new golf clubs (and who would want to do that), it was also one of my least expensive, maybe THE least expensive.

I think I'm finally getting the habit of this Thailand thing.

Black (Shoe) Thursday

2010-12-02T16:26:00.001-08:00

George Peppard, an incredibly handsome guy when young (see "Barefoot at Tiffany's"), later starred as Col. John "Hannibal" Smith in "The A-Team", one of the most inane TV shows of all time, so plastic it recently rated a full length feature knock off starring none other than Liam Neeson.

The show may have been vacuous, and thus perfect for the Reagan era, but in it Peppard each week (I think) got to grit his teeth, smugly smile and chew his unlit cigar through one of the best lines of all time, "I love it when a plan comes together."

And so it was yesterday when like Doug MacArthur without his corncob pipe I returned to Platinum/Pratunam with images of both good, cheap Thai food and black high heels in my mind. I bought a bag each of sweet pork and snowpea chicken off the street (45 baht!) and ate them with rice and a newspaper upstairs at Platinum. I worked off a little of the lunch by stumbling through all five floors of Platinum for maybe 45 minutes before taking the saphan loi (pedestrian bridge) over to Pratunam/City Complex.

It was there in a moment of pure genius and luck I found these puppies. And get this, only 250 baht. Last night Bee, before demonstrating to me/us that the shoes work, paid me the ultimate compliment a Thai can give to a farang when she said, "You got a good deal."

Personally, I love it when a plan comes together.

Back to Back

2010-12-01T16:59:00.000-08:00

Got out in a twosome Tuesday w/ Russ my new golf guru and in a fivesome yesterday w/, well, four of the best dudes I've ever known. Muang Ake Tuesday and Bang Sai yesterday.

And get this, broke 90 both days (an 87 and an 85).

Pinch me.

I know where I'll be

2010-11-30T16:01:00.001-08:00

116 Reasons Why Bangkok Better LA

2010-11-29T15:47:00.000-08:00

Well, one (more) reason anyway (psss, don't tell anyone).

LAPD charging jaywalkers $191 in new crackdown

Pedestrians should think twice before jaywalking in downtown L.A. -- or they could walk away with a $191 fine.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2010/11/lapd-charging-jaywalkers-191-in-new-crackdown.html

Assume the Position

2010-11-28T16:55:00.001-08:00

"Duck and cover" was a little before my time. The Thai version is "stop, drop and sleep."

The frontiest of the front row of the non-air, 8 baht, blue 48 bus coming back from Siam yesterday afternoon.

Just looking at her made me want to rush home and get under the blanket (which after a bowl of raisin bran is exactly what I did).

Just glad the driver didn't have to make any (super) quick stops while I was aboard. She might need that cute little noggin of hers someday.

With Me All Things Are Possible

2010-11-28T01:40:00.000-08:00

How do I look?

Thanks.

Seriously, I just completed a 32 day diet. I started it when I got on that electronic scale up at the mothership. It said something like 90+ kilos which translated into just under 200 lbs. I said "enough" otherwise I'm gonna' start looking like all the guys staying at this hotel.

So for four weeks I basically ate nothing but chicken/pork, fruit, vegetables and cereal. For snacks I had pretzels, a little popcorn and peanut butter.

That's right; no donuts, no Lay chips, no bread and no rice. I'd call it a low-carb, low-fat, low-sugar kind of thing.

Up at CA Wow I did just about the same amount of cardio I usually do, maybe a little more. Between eating less and working out, I averaged maybe 1,300 calories a day, maybe a little less.

This is what the scale said this morning.
My goal was ten pounds but I guess when you do the math I lost 13. I weigh 186 pounds.

I feel thinner, my pants are loose and there's a bounce in my walk. What's more, I had never really eaten vegetables in my life. Who knew they could power your body like they do.

Today is my birthday and the weight loss is my gift to myself.

I am working on the "Bangkok South Klong Diet" book. Expect to see me on "Oprah" soon. Wait, is "Oprah" still on?

"Yes Mr. President"

2010-11-26T15:56:00.000-08:00

Nine times out of ten I dream ferociously at night. And I guess in the afternoons too when I take my daily nap(s). I like to believe dreaming and my unbelievably crisp synapses are signs of intelligence but I like to believe a lot of things.

I didn't write this one down but I can still remember it. I just woke up with it.

I'm in my cube at the mortgage company wearing my headset. The phone rings, I pick up and it's President Obama calling in from Air Force One. He has a loan on a little house somewhere in Illinois he wants numbers on re: a refinance.

The new guys in the call center, basically all the guys, ran numbers on our computer system's software ap. I did 'em the "old fashioned" way, on my HP 12c financial calculator.

We had a good conversation, I made the "borrower in chief" smile and maybe even laugh and I think he liked what he heard; I could save him about $100 a month. He needed to talk it over with Michelle. I left him with my phone number. In the meantime my manager had came in to talk about a file. I took my headset off and put it down. Boy did I have something to tell him and the other guys gathered in the cube.

Breakthrough

2010-11-25T17:43:00.001-08:00

So after many sessions with Dr. Rosenstein, Abe, I was finally able to get back over to the Platinum Mall at Pratunam yesterday. The good doctor suggested it was time for me to face my demons. You see, back in the day, Platinum was where that long departed little girl from outside Ratchaburi and I used to while away the afternoons.

The deep breathing exercises the doc showed me helped and it all turned out good. Bought some super delicious food from the girls at the top of the long escalator at Panthip, walked it over and ate it with a newspaper and 12 baht coffee from 7 at the Platinum food court.

I didn't buy any clothes, though, or perhaps more meaningfully, any shoes. Baby steps.

On the way to grab the free (!) red, number 2 bus back to the soi, I saw that they are putting the final touches on a new and improved Platinum on the northwest corner of Ratchaprasong intersection (next to the current Platinum). Check out the size of that McDonald's to be. This is gonna' be big.

Which raises the thought, since they're doing such a good job, why don't we just let the guys from Oak Brook run the USA and, while we're at it, the world too.

Blink

2010-11-25T05:29:00.001-08:00

So we're gonna' go eyeball-to-eyeball with China, the nation financing our profligate ways, in THEIR backyard.

How the fuck does that work?

(Not) "Goin' Back to Cali"

2010-11-24T17:58:00.000-08:00

Mammoth got blasted, it's opening early and the fresh tracks possibilities seem endless. Maybe next year.

The Chinese Century

2010-11-23T16:49:00.000-08:00

I think I read a headline somewhere recently about someone being unhappy (imagine that) about the "pretties" gracing events at the Asian Games in Guangzhou. They're distracting viewers from the competition was maybe their thinking.

You mean, there's a race going on somewhere?

http://www.nationmultimedia.com/specials/nationphoto/show.php?id=1&pid=9851

Ireland Goes Down

2010-11-22T18:58:00.001-08:00

These are my people. Well, the Scotch-Irish part of Ireland anyway.

This is a big one, maybe 100 billion Deutsche marks, I mean euros. Freudian there.

Who's gonna' bail out the US when it's our turn?

The Brains Behind the Plot?

2010-11-19T02:20:00.000-08:00

So these three, Colorado soldier dudes, including this government issue here, found themselves locked inside a pot dispensary after they had broken in. They're telling cops they were risking a stretch in the can and the chance to know the meaning of tough love first hand so they could DESTROY the weed. They just couldn't sleep at night knowing it was there.

That's a good one. I like that.

And there's still WMDs in Iraq; we just haven't found them yet.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/18/AR2010111807341.html?hpid=sec-nation

Gender Confusion for A Hundred Alex

2010-11-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

Boy or girl working that ATM?

Having been there, I wanna' say girl.

Upon further review, however, you might be able to put pads on those shoulders and get yourself an outside linebacker. Not too mention those "dancing with the stars" legs. Besides, while we're on the subject, a born femme would wear heels, wouldn't she?

In any event, wonder if s/he hit trip cherries and got dough out of that machine. I'm rooting for her/him.

Something in a 37?

2010-11-18T04:58:00.000-08:00

I couldn't wait for my new friend Bee to get out of her shoes and make herself comfortable. I needed a picture of them for a forthcoming shopping trip. You see, they really do it, I mean, did it for me.

"Build It...And They Will Walk"

2010-11-16T16:32:00.001-08:00

Prior to, this could be a bitch of an underpass crossing. Near lunch, it was packed with vendors and eaters. At night, stumbling along in the dark, oncoming traffic was literally inches from your hipbone.

It is Sukhumvit "soi zero." Perhaps rivaling the Egyptians and their pyramids and big cat, the Greeks with their columns and the Romans with their circular places of slaughter, the Thais are big builders.

Here they have widened the sidewalk by about 10 feet, making it much more pleasant for a pedestrian to pass between Nana and Ploenchit, or vice versa. Well, for a while at least, until someone, and then 50 someones, gets the idea to sell beer Chang tank tops there.

The Ex-Prez Visits Nana

2010-11-15T01:12:00.000-08:00

...I think they were filming in the neighborhood Saturday, although I didn't see any cigar smoke.

Bill Clinton's 'Hangover' Cameo: President Spotted On Movie Set In Thailand

Mel Gibson is out, and Bill Clinton is in!

TMZ reports that the former president shot a cameo for 'The Hangover 2' in Thailand on Saturday.

The web site posted photos of Clinton on set and reported that extra security was brought in for the shoot.

Before filming the cameo, Clinton spoke to Thai government officials and encouraged them to work towards policies that would cut the country's greenhouse gas emissions. The former president also travelled to Vietnam this weekend and then to Taiwan.

The film is the sequel to 2009's "The Hangover," which grossed $277,322,503 domestically.

Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifinakis, Ken Jeong, and Ed Helms starred in the original and have been cast in the second film.

Last month, "Hangover 2" producers made headlines when they replaced troubled actor Mel Gibson with Liam Neeson for a minor role in the movie.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/14/bill-clintons-hangover-cameo-_n_783334.html

All the Way to the Bank

2010-11-10T22:56:00.000-08:00

Why is this idol smiling?

Something to do with gold at $1,400+?

A Good Walk Spoiled

2010-11-10T06:27:00.000-08:00

That's the view from the tee box at 16 on the new nine up at Bang Sai in Southern Ayuthaya Province (45 minutes from Bangkok; sounds a lot farther than it is).

Got to (supposed to) go over that water with your drive.

The less we say about today's 18 the better. It is now officially time for a large beer or three.

PS RIP Sleeper.

Is there a doctor in the house?

2010-10-31T20:04:00.000-07:00

The sleeper this week.

(TOTALLY none of my business but) what's wrong with this guy anyway, his legs/feet I mean?

Something in a Red?

2010-10-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's just me but I think Kwan looks really good in this. And I can't even see her shoes.

If a person could find it, they might even add it to their small but tasteful collection.

And a person was thinking it's been too long since that person's been to Platinum anyway.

Ut Oh

2010-10-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

They're clearing that open parcel on the southwest corner of Sukhumvit and soi 6 RIGHT ON the Nana BTS station. To the left/east of it, across soi 6, is where they're putting up the new Langham hotel.

When it went maybe two years ago now for 600 million baht I think, this property was THE most expensive piece of dirt ever sold in Bangkok.

Too early to tell what's coming but I can hope for a big Mr. Donut, can't I?

The Intersection of Life

2010-10-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

Now let's see, green AND yellow. That means go faster, right?

"One of these day Alyssa"

2010-10-27T18:04:00.001-07:00

Coulda' sworn "the Great One," Jackie Gleason, was no longer with us but I'll be damned if he wasn't over on soi 7 earlier this week enjoying an early afternoon aperitif.

"How big was it?"

2010-10-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

Noon Woranuch, seen here talking about a Japanese guy she once knew, is maybe the most popular actress in Thailand. She recently made all Thai girls proud by marrying one of the richest, I man most eligible, bachelors in the country, “Todd” Bhirombhakdi, son of the guy who brews Singha Beer. Way to take one for the home team Noon.

Why Are You Looking At Me Like That?

2010-10-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

Make Work?

2010-10-24T17:39:00.001-07:00

You see this a lot in Thailand. Workmen tearing up a project pretty much the day after it's finished. Maybe someone misread the specs on the prints; I don't know. Could it be inferior construction material; yes, that's a distinct possibility.

All I know is give a local a jack hammer and you better stand back.

Burn Baby Burn

2010-10-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

I think I mentioned this but one of the best one liners I've ever heard was on the BTS back in June. We were passing the fire-lashed hulk that had been Central World. Speaking of the red shirts, a young, educated Thai-Chinese girl said in perfect English to no one in particular, "Just because you can't afford to shop there, you don't have to burn it down."

I thought of that this week when this nut job set fire to a shopping center north of Sacramento. Can't you just take your matches and go home?

http://www.news10.net/news/story.aspx?storyid=101911&catid=2

Kone

2010-10-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

We're between school sessions in Thailand ("bit term") and it's officially take your daughter to work time.

Rest in Peace Howard

2010-10-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Tom Bosley dies at 83; star of stage and TV's 'Happy Days'

Tom Bosley, a Tony Award-winning actor who was best known for playing Howard Cunningham, the amiable father on the hit TV series "Happy Days," has died. He was 83.

http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-tom-bosley-20101020,0,2577809.story

Helter Skelter

2010-10-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

As I was passing the dude, on the opposite side of the street from the Rajah 7, I thought I heard a gentle female voice sifting through the breeze, "Cha wee, Cha wee."

"I Do" and Supersize That

2010-10-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

From Hong Kong comes the lovely news that McDonald's franchises will now be hosting "McWeddings." What a GREAT idea. Not sure if Ronald will do the honors. One question, though. What's the perfect gift for nuptials held under the Golden Arches?

http://www.hindustantimes.com/McDonald-s-to-host-McWeddings-in-Hong-Kong/Article1-613709.aspx

"Sawasdee Kop" Matey

2010-10-16T19:47:00.001-07:00

For the eight of us growing up in the Jack Ben Phil household (in 1,000 sq. ft.; w/ ONE bathroom!), there were just certain things we didn't talk about (after sex and Republican party politics, I mean). One of these things was Disneyland (and later, when it came, Disneyworld). We were gonna' have to find our own Magic Kingdom in the Northeast; there was just no money for a trip to Cali. or Fla.

Pretty much as soon as I moved to So. Cal., though, I slipped behind the Orange Curtain and visited Walt Disney's gift. I was mesmerized. This was the real deal. And, in addition to the food, the rides were good, too.

Especially righteous was the Pirates of the Caribbean boat trip, strategically located next to the Swiss Family Robinson tree house. The Pirates ride is supreme; just before Space and Splash Mountains, my favorite ride in the park. And not just because they sell beignet and Monte Cristo next door at Cafe New Orleans, either.

Yes, I was deprived as a kid. But I am not so today. You see, I don't have to visit Pirates of the Caribbean; I live there. Lean-tos on the klong in the rain yesterday at the Thai Tobacco Monopoly.

Not Your Father's Grammar School

2010-10-15T18:30:00.001-07:00

These two dudes, one a principal and the other an elementary school office manager, were busted in Vegas for meth possession charges. The principal spaced and left his crank by the copy machine.

I can unequivocably state any such thing did not happen at Northeast School where I did first through eighth, I think...

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2010/sep/02/elementary-school-principal-arrested-charge-drug-p/

There's a New Bridge In Town

2010-10-14T18:22:00.000-07:00

Must shave 15 minutes off the ride between Vegas and Kingman, easy.

DC Architect Forgets to Cash Winning Lottery Ticket

2010-10-14T02:37:00.000-07:00

Austin Spriggs paid $135,000 for his little Mass. Ave. townhouse in 1980.

Developers offered him $2.75 million in 2006 when the neighborhood went ballistic, real estate wise.

Spriggs held out for five or ten times that much. No one was gonna' put one over on him.

The developers (Trammell Crow) said fuck it and built around him.

Dude showed them.

$100 million a mile?

2010-10-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

Nice piece of asphalt, huh?

The LA Times reports that that bridge in front of you, one of three on the 405 between Westwood and Sherman Oaks, will soon be demolished so carpool lanes can be added north and southbound. Almost 300,000 vehicles a day go through the Sepulveda Pass.

Thankfully, I am no longer one of them.

Cost to taxpayers; $1 billion for 10 miles of diamond lane.

Re: taxpayer; thankfully, I am no longer one of them.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-overpass-20101012,0,4831140.story

"Something I said?"

2010-10-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

Before moving to / living in Bangkok, I was the excitable type. If I was in grammar school now, they'd diagnose me ADHD and medicate me. As it were, I had a lot of "nervous energy."

Now pretty much my anxiety only rears it's head when I have to wait for something really important, like food. When I take the Nailert Building shortcut to breakfast at Foodland I can't help myself from worrying if it'll be crowded, if I'll get a chair and more importantly the chair I like, right in front of Joan the fry cook.

Well, as you can see, that was (more) "stinkin' thinkin" this morn. Had the entire food counter to myself. That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, we like it.

Have I said it's low season?

"With a chance of afternoon thunderstorms..."

2010-10-10T22:18:00.001-07:00

When I'm not going short time or chasing a little white ball around a vast green expanse, I spend a lot of time living in the past. Which is ok because, all things considered, to date, I've had a charmed life.

When we were young once, and children, WFSB/Channel 3 in Hartford lured weatherman Hilton Kaderli away from an affiliate in Dallas. I never had much time for Texans after what they did to Jack Kennedy but Kaderli with his twang and his way of calling thunderstorms "gollywhompers" grew on us. Soon, channel 3 was the only place to turn when a blizzard or hurricane bore down on the Nutmeg State.

Speaking of weather (nice transition, huh?) we are in that la la land of post-rainy season/pre-winter in Thailand. It is absolutely beautiful. But don't tell anyone. It is also the lowest of the low season and we "natives" are enjoying having the place to ourselves for a spell.

Cross this line. I dare ya'.

2010-10-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

From the deepest bowels of the Pentagon comes the good news that the Israelis have ordered 20 F-35 Lightenings powered, of course, by Connecticut-made Pratt & Whitney F135 engines.

(At a very reasonable $150-to-$150 million a copy,) I think you would agree this is the kind of defense expenditure we can all embrace.

No Caption Contest

2010-10-08T00:32:00.000-07:00

Krispy kreme to the first one who explains what's going on here.

Like I promised

2010-10-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

An update.

Annie continues to decline a DNA swab and Film survives an overdose.

PS There's something in my eye. I can't tell. Is her's the face of an angel or devil?

"Don't take my blanket!"

2010-10-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

That's Da there, me landlady, on the right, in the sarong. To the left is my blanket.

We both get up early and I heard her milling about with the roosters this morning. Then I remembered I needed my comforter washed. I signaled as such to Da and she gave me the universal sign to toss the blanket over the rail.

Thirty minutes later it was cleansed and hanging on the line in the sun. It's evening now and I'm ok, the blanket is back, smelling morning fresh.

Da owns my building and as far as I can tell my whole soi. She could buy and sell me, what, five, ten, twenty, a hundred times over. I don't know.

She's like me, though, tight as a drum. She charges 300 baht to clean the blanket. My Thai's pretty good and I tried my best to talk her down. "No dice, son," she said in perfect English, "This is a company town."

"To the moon, Alice"

2010-10-06T02:39:00.000-07:00

The S&P yesterday, I mean last night.

Nature or Nurture?

2010-10-05T02:40:00.001-07:00

Patrick Schwarzenegger, Arnold and Maria's son. Looks like a winner to me.

Good genes or good child rearing?

PS I see she got to name him.

Donut Run, Reconsidered

2010-10-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

I don't get out much anymore. But after a 6+ mile, 51 minute run in the morning, I was famished when I awoke from my early afternoon nap. I was craving fried chicken.

That usually means the colonel but I think I am over the secrets herbs and spices because last time I at there I didn't feel so well. Feeling adventurous and at peace from my road work, I decided to go to DQ Grill at Paragon for the chicken sandwich.

Once I got there, I realized I hadn't been to Siam in like a dog's age. Either I'm getting old or Nana has everything I need.

The food at DQ totally hit the spot. And the unlimited drink bar is the bomb.

Having to see, after, I crossed the mall to see the Krispy Kreme at Paragon. Fucking mob scene. The line was like ten across out the door, back to Rama I and then around the corner. Who says American doesn't offer what the world wants.

Thinking on the fly, I went to St. Etoile for two cinnamons.

Can someone please let me know when the line dies down. Thanks.

Guess what they made here?

2010-10-03T01:05:00.000-07:00

About a gazillion things that could fly. Two of the more well known ones were the Apollo program's command modules and all five space shuttles.

It was once North American Aircraft/North American Rockwell, Downey, CA, USA.

Now it's a shopping center with a Bed, Bath and Beyond and the movie studio where they made "Iron Man."

I mean, that's progress, right?

Shaq Wearing Green

2010-10-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

This is gonna' take some getting used to.

How many Thais...

2010-09-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

...can you fit in a phone booth?

How would I know? Ask Guinness.

Lurking in the dark, just south of the Omni and north of the Royal Ivory, on the east side of the soi, is this waif.

Poor thing. Reformed dancer maybe as she's tatted out.

Our paths cross a lot. She keeps to herself and NEVER asks for a thing.

I like her style.